Blog Post 13: When to End a Relationship with a Toxic Pushy Person

Sometimes, people in our lives do not have the emotional capacity to consider our needs. This is when we need to consider ending a relationship. Protecting ourselves from toxic people like this is of utmost importance to our health; otherwise, we can end up under tremendous stress with poor quality of life, or in extreme cases, being emotionally, physically, or sexually abused.  

If we had a toxic or abusive person in our lives growing up, it can be hard to notice the early warning signs with these types of people in our lives currently. People with Type C traits are more likely to focus on making others happy. Unfortunately, we tend to ignore feelings of discomfort or fear - which are so important to be aware of in order to protect ourselves. Type C people can therefore find it very difficult to end a relationship; it feels easier to hang in there than to risk dealing with the possibility of a long and drawn-out conflict. This can happen in the workplace as well; toxic work environments are very unhealthy and cause much stress mentally and physically. 

A relationship or job may need to end if these toxic behaviors are present: 

• Someone routinely dismisses your needs despite your stating them clearly; 

• Someone routinely lies and gaslights you (meaning they manipulate you into questioning your own reality, memory, or perceptions);

• Someone asks too much of you despite your saying no;

• Someone is hyper critical or belittles you;

• Someone actively abuses you in ANY way - this includes all of the above and more.  

In these situations, bravery is crucial, as is staying present with the cost of continuing this toxic relationship or job situation. Guilt, anxiety, or fear may show up, as may the urge to avoid dealing with this situation. In order to take care of ourselves, we need to communicate our needs with assertiveness skills to end the relationship or issue with the toxic person.  We will discuss how to do this in the next post.