Blog Post 12: Should We Get Buy-In from the Pushier People In Our Lives?

If we are committed to working on our Type C traits, should we share this with our pushier friends, relatives, and colleagues to help them understand why we are responding to them differently, and perhaps even get their buy-in? Shout out to one of our members, Debby, for sharing this question following our recent talk. Our answer:  This is a personal decision, but it could be effective, especially with those closest to us. Changing our responses can certainly be confusing for people that have received a lifetime of “yes!” from us! Having this discussion may lead to more overall support from these people.

The conversation with a partner or spouse might look like this: “I am realizing I need to take care of myself more than I am doing. I may need more time for myself or more help doing things. I know this means asking you for more and this may be harder for you. I hope you will help me with this."

At work, it may look like this: “I really want to be a top performer, and it’s very important for me to be a strong team player, but I’m overextending myself, which I don’t think is good for me or for the company. I may need to pass on certain projects so I can give my current workload the time and attention it needs. I hope we can work together on balancing my workload.”

With friends who are asking too much: “I really value your friendship. I’m feeling overwhelmed with everything on my plate and I may need to dial down my social activities a bit and take more time for myself so I don’t burn out. I don’t want you to think there’s anything wrong between us when I say “no” to things. I need to work on my health right now and hope you understand."