Blog Post 57: We Are All a Little Bit Type C

Any personality type - A, B, and C - can be thought of as a spectrum. Most of us exhibit certain traits from each of these, and we may be different types in different scenarios and with different people. We might be more or less one of these personality types at work versus at home or in social situations, or with friends, parents, children, spouses, and colleagues. We wrote a post a few months back about when Type C specifically is a problem - and the same notion applies here - our different traits in varied situations are only a problem if they are hurting us in some way.

When Type C traits crop up, it is important to assess if there is a cost of these patterns and habits in our lives. For example, do they get in the way of our relationships? With a spouse, typical Type C patterns are to not stand up and fight for ourselves, to not ask for help, to think too much about their needs versus our own, and to not communicate directly about our needs. All of these avoidant behaviors can lead to a buildup of toxic anger and resentment. At work, others may take advantage of our helpful Type C nature. In our careers, we can risk burnout by taking on too much and feeling a lot of anger underneath it all. Ultimately, we may feel like the only way out is to quit the job, which is not good for our careers or financial situations.

I (Anna) am far more Type C in the workplace than at home, with deep-seated fears of disappointing the boss or colleagues and a pathological need to be reliable and responsible. Kore is the opposite - more Type C at home than at work, thinking too much about the spouse and kids and then letting resentment build. A friend who attended our talk at the JCC told us she realized she is not Type C at all in the workplace, but definitely exhibits these traits with her adult parents and adult siblings, regularly making sure everyone is happy and taken care of and often ignoring her own needs.

In situations where we are a bit Type C, we must notice the costs which can come in the form of anger or resentment, fatigue, exhaustion, excessive eating or drinking and/or other negative ailments. Awareness is the crucial first step. Then we must address the issues before they get worse. This is where we use our Type C tools: sit with difficult and uncomfortable emotions (guilty or worry about upsetting someone), work to communicate directly and assertively, ask for more help, and say no - the hardest thing for a person with Type C tendencies to do.

Each of these steps can only be taken when we are alert to the costs of continuing the patterns. For those of us with even a few Type C traits, avoidance of feelings or distancing ourselves from the costs is a common default. When we are more present with our needs and can keep in mind the long-term costs on our minds, bodies, work, and relationships, we can start to employ the tools and make changes in the moment towards a much healthier future.