Blog Post 51: The Intersection of Loneliness and Burnout

For Type C people, the strength of connections and relationships can be a challenge.  People with Type C traits focus so much on the needs of others that we are particularly susceptible to burnout. We often feel lonely because we are afraid to express our opinions or because we can’t be vulnerable with other people because we don’t want to upset them. We also might feel guilty about burdening other people with our problems. 

This wonderful New York Times article talks about how burnout may be less about overworking and overdoing, and more about feeling lonely and isolated when dealing with stress. With our modern, busy lives, we may be less emotionally and deeply connected to other people than we were in the past. The rise of texting and social media clearly plays a role in decreasing the depth of connection in relationships. In addition, for those of us living in big cities, community can be sometimes hard to find.

I (Anna) know I had a difficult time opening up about my health problems because I didn’t want to burden other people, I didn’t want to be a complainer, and I also had a hard time with the dismissal I was often met with. People would say things like “well, you look fine!” or “I know, I’m tired too.” I know they meant well. But this certainly led to feeling invalidated - and therefore lonely in my problems and hesitant to try revealing myself again. 

What can Type C people due to combat loneliness and isolation? Be brave and curious. Notice  how it feels when you open up and share more and are more vulnerable with others.  Sometimes you might not get the response you want, but do you feel a little lighter that you put it out there? Do you notice that it is helpful to your mind and body to be more authentic, not hiding or holding on to stuff. Opening up helps people know us better and makes our connections stronger. We can also work on taking more risks - putting our needs first, saying no more, making more time to cultivate our friendships and family relationships. And if we are met with dismissal, we need to keep trying to find supportive people - they are out there!