Blog Post 26: Type C and Money

Money is a complicating factor in a lot of relationships, and Type C people can find this dynamic extra challenging given the propensity to default to “yes” and feel like a bad person when saying “no”. 

Let’s consider an example where someone asks to borrow money from a Type C. First and foremost, it’s important to know that Type C people can easily be taken advantage of when it comes to money; the borrower could be aware that Type C is eager to please and does not like disappointing others. Type C people may even lend money they don’t have or put willful blinders on about how much they are lending - and then it adds up over time. Another example is over-generosity. Type C may always offer to pick up the check or be too giving in other ways.

These dynamics are unhealthy. The Type C person may become angry and resentful toward the borrower - stewing in silence or not asking for the money back. Type C may feel like the borrower should know better and should be aware of the need to start paying back. However, the borrower can interpret the Type C’s silence as true generosity or simply a lack of urgency to pay back. 

In money situations, we have a number of tools at our disposal. Notice the rule that is driving the dynamic - probably some form of “I should be helpful to others.” We may feel that the borrower wouldn’t ask unless they really needed the money and feel we can’t say no, or they will be upset. Recognize the mind/body cost of acting in line with the rule. Sit with the guilt or fear that arises from disappointing or upsetting someone else. Say no assertively using I statements or the broken record technique - for example, "I'd really like to help but I'm not in a position to right now". With a close relationship where you truly want to help, there may be other creative ways; for example, offering some form of non-monetary help or proposing a lesser amount. 

A reminder that our cheat sheet has descriptions of each of these tools, and we hope it is helpful! Please email us any stories you would like to share on this topic to typectoolbox@gmail.com.