Blog Post 81: Micro Choices Matter
Type C people often make choices in the moment that prioritize the wellbeing of other people instead of our own. Our decision-making may be driven by what we think other people want us to do, versus what we could or should do for ourselves. These tiny choices that we make throughout the day - are so important to our health and healing, yet often we are not aware of them. Dr. Kelly A. Turner, author of Radical Hope, has a great related quote, “Our health—and indeed our entire lives—can be seen as the sum of all our moment-to-moment decisions. This includes how we choose to eat and drink, think and feel, act and react, and move and rest on any given day.”
It’s very easy (and common) to make a poor choice in the moment with the logic of “I’ll start tomorrow” or “I’ll clean that up tomorrow,” “I’ll be healthier tomorrow.” How can we make better micro choices, ones that are more aligned with our values? Type C people may not even know what their needs, wants, and values are because we have spent a lifetime ignoring them or squashing them when it wasn’t safe to put our needs out there - so this muscle/awareness is weak.
The examples here are endless. Here’s a recent one of mine (Anna). I restrict myself from drinking a lot of alcohol; it exacerbates my health issues and I always regret having more than one drink. For July 4, I vowed to have one lightly-poured vodka/soda. The host insisted on pouring for me, and although I was very specific about how much vodka I wanted, he poured at least double if not triple the requested amount. Not wanting to disappoint him or make a fuss, I drank it. I felt bad the next day, and it hampered my productivity. I’m working on two projects that are very important to me, and in that moment, I made the wrong micro choice, one that was not in line with my values and my health, and that adversely affected my productivity.
We must choose to believe that each tiny decision we make matters because our health and healing matters. We can choose to pause, to notice how we are feeling in our bodies, to slow down, to eat something healthy, to say no to someone, to move our bodies, to meditate, to stretch. Remember to start small when changing or working on new habits. I (Kore) went to a great workshop several years ago where the presenter said, “Do something that is small enough but doable, and big enough that it’s meaningful.”
We can also work to create solid habits that help us make better micro decisions. The book Atomic Habits by James Clear is a terrific resource for learning to create habits for good health. At first, we will likely feel bad, guilty, and uncomfortable, and we will have to sit with these difficult feelings. It can be helpful to start noticing the double standard we have for ourselves versus others. We would not tell a good friend or our child to put everyone else’s needs above our own. We don’t have to change the rules in our heads - we just need to be aware of how they drive our micro choices.