Blog Post 4: Where Do Type C Traits Come From?

Are Type C traits a function of nature or nurture?  The answer is both – these traits stem from both beliefs/rules and behavioral patterns that are learned early on in life – as well as family genetic history. 

In childhood, we may have seen poor examples of expressing and managing emotions, and this may have led to learning our feelings didn’t matter - or we didn’t want to burden someone else who was struggling. We may learn to keep everything on the inside. Excessive criticism or perfectionism from a parent or caregiver may have also led to holding onto emotions, trying to please others and put their needs first, and/or decreased awareness of our own needs.

What we learn in childhood and early adulthood can have a significant impact on how we see and treat ourselves. And, in turn, what we expect from others.  These early experiences can turn into rules that govern our behavior. We will spend a lot of time talking about these rules in this blog. We will discuss how important awareness of these rules is as well as share ways to make healthier decisions and act in more thoughtful ways.  Examples of these unhealthy rules are “if I’m sad or upset, I will keep it to myself to not burden anyone” or “I won’t say anything so I won’t be criticized or judged.” We may have internalized a rule that if we do things perfectly, others will criticize us less, or if we make people happy, then they won't be upset and yell.

In addition, some cultures encourage the "grin and bear it" way of acting.  There are also societal pressures that can make women feel "I should be able to do it all" and "I can’t ask for help." Given all these factors that culminate in the building of Type C traits, one should not blame themselves for struggling will all of this.

It is important to point out that there are short-term benefits to following the rules that stem from early childhood experiences, culture, and society. We can be rewarded with praise, approval, good reviews, promotions, and money. We may also be able to avoid some criticism and emotional or physical abuse. When we were young, the ability to compartmentalize strong emotions like anger or fear may have helped us not feel constantly overwhelmed. There are plenty of short-term downsides, though, such as saying yes too much, checking work excessively to make sure it’s perfect, working long hours to gain approval/praise from the boss and colleagues, and the fatigue associated with these behaviors to name just a few negative consequences.