Blog Post 75: Trauma and Basic Personal Rights
Our podcast guest this week is trauma expert Dr. Christie Jackson, so it’s a good opportunity to revisit and write more on trauma. You can see our previous post here.
Many people think of trauma as resulting from abuse or a terrible attack or accident - but trauma can arise from any experience where you felt that you were in danger. Trauma can occur if you grew up in a household where you were emotionally abused, excessively criticized, or constantly invalidated - and you didn’t feel protected or safe. Even if your life may not have been directly threatened, you still lived in fear of being emotionally hurt. Many people who have experienced this type of abuse do not realize they’ve experienced trauma.
Here are some more detailed examples of what emotional abuse looks like:
Growing up alongside a sibling with mental health or developmental issues and being told by caregivers that you must put up with bad treatment by this sibling.
Being repeatedly told that you are a failure, you’re not good enough, you are stupid, you won’t amount to anything, etc.
Bullying or physical abuse by a sibling, and being dismissed by caregivers when you ask for help.
Being constantly compared to a sibling who has a different set of talents and told you don’t measure up.
On our podcast, Dr. Jackson discussed the Basic Personal Rights, a list of rights that everyone has, but many Type C people who experienced trauma might not believe apply to them. For example, the first few items on this list are: 1) I have the right to ask for what I want; 2) I have the right to say “no”; 3) I have the right to feel and express my feelings, both positive and negative; 4) I have the right to make mistakes.
It may be helpful to read through the list and bring awareness to the double standard you may give other people but not yourself. You don’t have to convince yourself that these rights apply to you, but you do want to be aware of how not believing them - and the resulting actions - has hurt you. This is the first step towards making change in that area. Would you be willing to pick one or two that you don’t believe apply and act as if they do, then see what happens? Always start with easier situations first.
It’s important to know that people who develop a traumatic response may carry a lot of self-blame and shame. It can be helpful to realize that trauma might not have lingering effects if you have a solid support system around you and people to validate your experience. A solid support system helps sufferers make sense of the situation and process trauma in a healthy way at that time. In these situations, Type C traits do not usually develop. Invalidation and non-supportive environments are often the reason people develop a traumatic response.