Blog Post 48: Alcohol and Substances as a Coping Mechanism
We’ve established that Type C people like to squash feelings, put the needs of others above their own, and spend too much time doing things for other people. Unfortunately, these Type C traits can lead to many negative behaviors including abusing substances. Alcohol and other drugs have several benefits in the short term for people with Type C traits (and most people). Alcohol can help us feel emotions like stress and guilt less intensely, and it can create a feeling of distance from challenging situations and other stressors. For Type C’ers, alcohol can help us make time for ourselves - which is such a struggle when sober - and it can help us be more expressive and more assertive. A few drinks can also help a Type C’er feel more comfortable around other people – leading to reduced feelings of anxiety, reduced feelings about needing to be liked or reduced urges to please others. As one member of our community put it, “I take care of everyone else, the alcohol takes care of me.”
These short term benefits can lead people with Type C traits to drink more than they can handle or originally planned. In addition, Type C’ers often drink more than they want in order to not disappoint the host or their companions. They may feel pressure to be the “fun” one in order to please others. I (Anna) am not much of a drinker these days, my health issues don’t really allow for it. But I have friends who are wine and spirits aficionados, and they are often super excited to have me try their latest discoveries or favorite types. It can be really hard to say no in these situations, because I don’t want to burst their bubbles! It’s even hard with a really good excuse like less-than-stellar health. Even lovely friends can be pushy, which makes it hard for a Type C person to say no.
In order to help manage substance abuse of any kind, we have to start by recognizing the cost. What are the negatives in the long run? Eating more? Feeling slow or hungover the next day? Saying or doing regretful things and feeling bad about ourselves afterwards? Then, we want to look at substance use as part of a larger pattern which we will call the ABCs: the antecedent, the behavior, and the consequence. The behavior is drinking. What is the antecedent - what leads to the drinking? Why do Type C’ers want to relax, get space, get distance from their emotions? Often, it’s because we struggle with balancing our needs, thinking enough about ourselves, and last but not least sitting with worry or guilt.
If Type C people can work on developing more ways to balance our needs against those of others, the urge to drink might not be so strong and lead to negative Cs - consequences.
One last point to make: substance abuse is something with which many people struggle. So remind yourself, you're not alone and be kind to yourself. That is really important. And remember that in more severe cases, these suggestions might not be enough. If you or someone you know is really struggling with any form of substance abuse, we urge you to find a therapist who specializes in this area - our Resources page can help.